A day at the park! Plus other stories! (since NOW)
by Guest.124
Summary: Once upon a time Law decided to get Kidd out of his garage and have a nice picnic at the local park with him but will it really go smoothly? That is the 1st story here! /I will add a few continuations in the form of little drabble storys and, not necessarily, related to a park, so there! A bunch of of random storys!
1. (1) The Walk

~A day at the park~

Once upon a time Law decided to drag Kid's ass out of his garage and have a nice picnic at the local park but will it really go so smoothly as planned.

Currently the both of them just passed the gates of the park and are walking down a wide cement tiled road leading straight into the depths of the park.

Kid: ''Remind me again, why are we doing this?'' asked Kid in an annoyed tone, all the while boring holes into the sides of Law's scull just to make it clear that he was in no way happy to be suddenly dragged out like this. '_Damn, that Trafalgar, he even had the guts to wake me up from my afternoon nap._'

Law: ''Because, Eustass-ya, you spend WAY too much time in that stuffy garage of yours. Just look at yourself, you're starting to resemble a corpse with each passing day, so in order to brighten up the color in your cheeks, we're here to spend so quality time under the warm rays of the sun.'' Said Law matter of factly while looking straight ahead and pretending as if he didn't notice the constant glares sent his way.

Kid: ''My garage is not stuffy and I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A CORPSE!'' Kid yelled slowly losing his patience with this man. '_Dammit, how can anyone be so goddamn vexing? It's like God took everything that annoys me and stuffed it into one person!_' While too busy with his own rambling inside his head it went unnoticed to him that his yelling had attracted the attention of the surrounding people. One mother in particular drew her young son closer to her worried that the fearsome looking man just might start a fight in the middle of the pathway.

Law: ''Whatever you say, Mister Eustass, but do keep in mind that we're currently in a public place so could you keep it down? You're scaring everyone. It's already bothersome that you naturally freak people out with that scary face of yours. There's no need to add to it with your yelling.'' Said Law with his usual calm and indifferent tone.

Kid: ''What's wrong with my face? And what do you care if everyone's scared? Last time i checked, you enjoy such situations.'' Kid growled out but now in a much quieter voice.

Law: ''Answer to Question Nr.1: It's scary! Especially if you start smiling. Weren't you listening to me the first time i said that? And Answer to question Nr.2: I truly do enjoy it but i do not wish to be arrested for public indecency along with you. It's still noon after all. We can leave that type of fun for later. Although i would rather not have tonight's dinner behind bars.''

Kid: ''Public indecency? What the hell? How's a little yelling public indecency? And to even get arrested? It's not like i'm strangling someone in the middle of the road.'' Kid looked thoughtful for a moment before dropping the subject altogether. ''Ugh! Let's just get this picnic over with already.''

They continued walking in silence until Kid decided to ask a question that's been lingering on his mind. ''Hey, what do you even do for a picnic anyway?''

Law: ''Well according to this one TV show i saw this morning, you basically just sit on the grass and eat. That shouldn't be too hard for you to do, right, Eustass-ya?'' The last part was said in more of a demeaning manner.

Kid: ''In other words, you don't know!'' said Kid ignoring the obvious insult. ''Besides if eating is all you wanted to do then couldn't you have just said so from the beginning. We could have stayed home and ate.'' (Authors note: In this part of the story they live together as roommates!)

Law: ''It's not about the food, Eustass-ya. Do you really want me to go over the reasons again?''

Kid: ''I'll pass.''

After some more walking...

Kid: ''ARE WE THERE YET? Seriously, how long are we gonna keep walking? Just how friggin' huge is this fucking park? It sure as hell didn't look so big from the outside. This is ridiculous! I'm going home!''

Law: ''Calm down, Eustass-ya. We're here!''

Kid: ''Ya' sure about that? 'Cause all i see is tree, tree, oh and grass.''

Law: ''Well this is a park after all. It would be strange if there weren't any trees or grass around. And i thought i already mentioned that we're supposed to eat on the grass.''

Kid: ''As long as you don't make eat the grass itself...'' said Kid absentmindedly mumbling to himself but Law still managed to hear that.

Law: ''Is that an offer, Eustass-ya?''

Kid: ''Just shut up and give me the food! And stop constantly repeating my name! It's not like i have the brains of a goldfish!''

Law: ''Goldfish actually have a memory-span of at least three that would give plenty of time to remember ones name.''

Kid: ''Not bad for fish but hand me my food already!''

Law: ''Patience!'' Kid just growled in response. ''First i need to outspread the picnic blanket.'' And with that said Law began to gently spread the blanket on the ground and placed the picnic basket on it's right side opening it to reveal a whole stack of finely made dishes and other exquisite food.

Kid: ''You sure came prepared.''

Law: ''Impresed?''

Kid: ''More like wondering when did you make all of this and since when do we even HAVE a picnic basket and a blanket like that.''

Law: ''Wouldn't you like to know!'' A sly smile evident on his lips.

Kid: ''As a matter of fact, yes, i would like to know. Now tell me!''

Law (in a serious tone and with a straight face): ''I killed our neibghor with a shovel and took her basket from her this very morning when she decided to go on picnic herself. I thought it would be such a waste to let that boring woman have that kind of fun.''

Kid: ''You mean you killed the one living in 2-B?''

Law: ''No, i killed the one living in 4-C.''

Kid: ''Oooooh! Yeah, she was boring, wasn't she? so what did you do with the corpse?''

Law: ''Nothing!''

Kid: ''Wait? What?''

Cliffhanger!


	2. (2) Trouble with squirrels

Kid (frustrated): ''You just left a corpse laying around!''

Law: ''Kid.''

Kid: ''If you had bothered to bring a shovel then you could of at least buried her!''

Law: ''Kid.''

Kid: ''WHAT?!'' _Yelled, again. Oh, whatever._

Law: ''I was only joking. Really now! Me? Killing someone? Can you really imagine ME killing someone.. anyone.. ?'' said almost with a laugh and a lot of slyness.

Kid: ''Yes.'' Answered curtly.

Law: ''Don't be silly! What could POSSIBLY lead you to such an impression?''

Kid: ''Ooooh, i don't know... Maybe it's the glee in your yours when you look at your patients on your operating table... ooor maybe it's how you cut them up with your scalpel... ooor maybe it's just the aura you emit on a daily basis.''

Law: ''And how told you know all of that? Minus the last one, of course.''

Kid: ''Never mind that and pass me a sandwich.''

Law: ''Hmmm, i guess, i can grind that information out of you sometime later when i feel like it.'' said thoughtfully before turning towards the basket and reaching for sandwich and then passing it to Kid. ''But, really now, actually assuming that i killed someone. I mean, that would have been such a hassle. And who kills people during a sunny morning anyway? There's just no mood to it!''

Kid: ''You sound like you have been thinking about it before.'' Said while chomping down on his food. _'Not that i would be surprised about it being the truth.'_

Law: ''Well i can't aver that i haven't thought about it.''

Kid: _'I knew it!'_

Law: ''But planning and doing are two completely different things.''

Kid: ''PLANNING?''

Law: ''I meant thinking.''

Kid: _'Suuuuure you did and i'm the queen of England. How did i ever end up as roommates with this psycho?'_

Law: ''By the way, before you ask again, i borrowed all the picnic items from a colleague of mine though i never would have thought that Penguin was into this kinda stuff, then again he was planning on using it as an excuse to ask a girl out.''

Kid: ''And how did that go?''

Law: ''Well, he did come back to work crying so i assume not so good. I didn't ask the details.''

Kid: ''Was his face really that pathetic looking?''

Law: ''It was hard to look at it.''

Kid: ''Hahaha that guy never has luck with women.'' Cracked up a laugh.

Law: ''As for the food... i made it myself.''

Kid: ''Then keep up the good work. The food's great. At this rate you will someday make a great housewife.'' Said diving for a another batch of the home-cooked meals.

Law: ''I'm a man.'' Said somewhat angrily.

Kid: ''Don't let that you get down. Nowadays people don't care that much anyway.'' Face stuffed full.

Law: ''Are you implying that i should become a women?''

Kid: ''Noooo. All i'm saying is keep making the meals and i'll be a happy camper.''

Law: ''Oh? Then what will do if i happen to get in a relationship and decide to move out, huh?''

Kid: ''Worst case scenario, i'm forced to live off of noodles.''

Law: ''Instant ramen? I'm sure you could do better then that.''

Kid just shrugged. ''Whatever keeps me alive.''

Law also picked up some food and started eating. A squirrel happened to pass them by. And then another. And then another. And another.

Kid: ''Is it just me or am i seeing things?''

Law: ''You're still having hallucinations about spiders? I guess that old movie was too much for you to handle.''

Kid: ''No, you idiot! I meant the squirrels. The squirrels, dammit! And i'm not afraid of spiders!''

Law: ''I didn't say you were afraid.''

Kid: ''Curses.''

Law: _'Aaaaand he started mumbling to himself. This might take a while.'_

One of the squirrels managed to crawl in the basket and snatched some of food. Before both of them realized what was happening the small little animal was already on it's way to the nearest tree.

Kid: ''Hey, i was saving that for desert! Come back here, you stupid squirrel!''

Law: ''Forget about the food. I think we might have a different problem on our hands.'' Said Law searching through the basket.

Kid: ''What do you mean?''

Law: ''I can't find my keys.''

Kid: ''What? Why did you even put them there?''

Law: ''That's no the issue here. I think that squirrel just ran off with them.''

Kid: ''Are you serious?''

While grabbing for the food the squirrel had also managed to accidentally to take Law's car keys along with everything else.

Currently the both of them were looking up at the tree the squirrel had ascended and surely enough they saw a faint glow from the upper branches and assumed it came from the sun reflecting on Law's keys.

Kid: ''Well, no use dwelling on the matter.'' As he said that, Kid grabbed onto the lowest branch and started ascending the tree.

Law: ''Agreed.'' Although he said that, Law stayed rooted to the grass.

Kid: ''I will funkin' skin that thing.'' He was already half way to the top but it was getting harder since the branches themselves weren't very thick.

Law: ''Normally i would be against animal cruelty but i need those keys back one or another.''

Kid: ''Then less talking and more climbing or better yet start climbing. Why am i the only one doing this? Those are your keys after all.'' He said straining the last part.

Law: ''I would much rather stay on the ground in case you tumble down like on old oak tree. If that were to happen you would need immediate medical attention if you were to break any ribs or something alike.''

Kid: ''You're like a hyena just waiting for that to happen, aren't you, Trafalgar?''

Law: ''That's preposterous! I would never wish for something of alike.'' A sly smile gracing his lips.

Kid: ''Aaha.'' He looked skeptically at Law fully knowing how much the man just loved to get under his skin.

Law: ''You're distracting yourself with silly ideas. Remember! Eyes on the prize, Mister Eustass!''

Kid grunted in response and continued his climb to the top. _'There he goes again with that sassy mouth of his. Damn, Trafalgar!' _After what seemed like an eternity Kid finally managed to get to the top but with no squirrel in sight. ''Oi, Trafalgar! I can't find that damn rodent or your keys. It seems like you will have to pick up jogging.''

Law didn't look pleased about that option. ''I absolutely refuse to be degraded in such a manner.''

Kid: ''As a doctor, shouldn't you be all for it?''

Law: ''Eustass-ya, my work place is 20km away from our home. Do you really expect me to run that distance in less then 30 minutes? Every morning?''

Kid: ''Then just take the goddamn bus or something!''

Law: ''That wouldn't do in case of emergencies.''

Kid: ''Alright, then how about this? We break open and hot-wire your car. It's quite easy to do, ya know. I just need a coat hanger, a hammer, a screwdriver, some wire cutters and strippers, and we're all set to go. Oh and your proof of ownership would come in handy too.''

Law: ''I will pretend i never heard that!''

Kid: ''Suit yourself.'' said with shrug. He was trying to peer through the branches when he finally managed to locate that glint again. Upon closer inspection he identified that glint to truly be that of the keys. _'That stupid squirrel must have dropped it there.'_ The keys were hanging at the end of a tiny branch. ''Found them!''

Law: ''Great! Now can you reach them?''

Kid: ''They're a bit far away but, i think, i can manage.'' But as he was reaching for them, he heard a sudden _Snap!_. _'That can't be good.'_

Law: ''Everything alright up there?''

Kid: ''Yeah, yeah. Just hold your horses. I'll get your stupid keys back in a minute.'' His fingertips brushed slightly against the keys. _'Just a bit more.'_ His palm clenched over the keys. ''Got them!''

_SNAP!_

Kid: ''Oh, shit!''

_Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap! _

And with those sounds echoing in the background Kid went tumbling down the tree at a fast rate and before he knew what was happening his back had already collided with the hard ground right next to Law's feet.

Currently the wheezing Kid was trying to get his senses back in line. Groaning he said: ''Geez, Law, thanks for trying to catch me.''

Law: ''Now, now! If i had done that then right now either both of us would be enjoying the fine grass or you would be in my arms bridal style. Wouldn't that be MUCH more painful for your ego especially in a public place?''

Kid: ''True that!'' As he was slowly but cautiously getting up, Law leaned down to his level inspecting him for any injuries.

Law: ''Any broken bones?''

Kid: ''Not today, Trafalgar!'' He chuckled to himself in a low tone.

Law: ''Well, there's always the next day. Do you have my keys?'' Said glancing for any sign of them.

Kid: ''I got them! No worries!'' Said handing him the keys.

When they were both up and ready to continue their picnic they noticed a policeman heading their way.

Kid: ''Ugh, what now?''

The policeman approached the two standing men.

Law: ''Is there something wrong, Officer?''

Policeman: ''Yes, an anonymous source informed the police that two suspicious looking characters were discussing a planned future car robbery.''

Kid: ''WHAT?''

* * *

Cliffhanger!


	3. (3) Cops and grannies

**Author's note!**

Ok, i know i probably should have done this in the first 2 chapters but it kinda slipped my mind. Seriously! I was so exited that i ACTUALLY managed to write something that i can call ''_my own_'' that i forgot about everything else. I apologize!

I guess, i have some explaining to do but, FIRST, I would like to give special thanks to blackflamekitty. You really made my day when you favorited this story a few days ago. I hope you continue to enjoy my writings. I would be very, very, very, very happy if that were to happen.

I started writing on whim so i wasn't sure how it would turn out. Actually i'm still not quite sure so i would really appreciate it if some of you left a review. It's kinda depressing not knowing your opinions on whether it's any good or not. So.. um... pretty please?! I ask that as a favor for my sanity.

As for the story, I know a lot of you (or most) here love smut and all but i wanted to try out something a little bit different. This story originally was supposed to be a one-shot so it's not an actual long-term story. A few chapters will be the most of it (4, i think). My initial idea was to write a series of one-shots under the name of ''Randomness with Law/Kid'' so this story is meant as a test-drive to see if people (as in all you lovely folks out there) would like that. Well, as the name suggests, those one-shots would be with a similar background but at times the topics could be quite random. I got the idea from reading Garfield. Those of you who still remember about Garfield (it's an old comic basically, oh, wait, there was also an animated version) will understand how my basic idea started, that is, a plain and simple everyday life, lots of sarcasm and no explicit romance. I'm not saying i plan to strictly abide by that. As i'm a large smut-story (can i even use this term?) lover i would ( oh dear, i'm already getting a nosebleed just thinking about it) like to try out writing a story of that sort. Soooooooo what do you think?

* * *

**Disclaimer!**

I dot not own OP (but everything other then that comes from my brain cells).

* * *

**Back to the story...**

''Fuck, this day is just getting worse and worse.'' Kid quietly muttered to Law while the other calmly answered with a simple: ''At least i got my keys back.'' That DID NOT enlighten Kid's mood: ''Oh, shut up!''

Their quiet conversation was quickly interrupted by the policeman's, whom they still didn't know the name of nor did they care, offended voice: ''Are you even listening to me?''

''NO!'' Scolded like children but they answered at the same time with firm and straightforward voices. The annoyance of it all clearly reflected on their faces.

For the past ten minutes they had to listen to the guy's rambles about... something... they hadn't really paid much attention to what the officer was saying. It seemed boring from the moment he opened his mouth to talk. And why the hell was he feeling offended? Was it their lack of interest of his professional yet nonsensical speech? Probably! Could it be that they were technically looking at him but it was more like 'look through' and at everything BUT HIM? That too could be the reason. But most probably it was both. Neither Kid nor Law could give a damn about the policeman's ruined mood or this whole situation in fact. And why would they? It was all a misunderstanding from the get go. Some old lady had overheard their conversation from earlier and misinterpreted the whole thing. Of course, being an old hag, uups, i mean, a 'good citizen', she felt an unmistakable desire to immediately contact the police and pass on the information she had acquired about the 'soon to be crime'. Damn hag! Why do certain old lady's feel such a need to begin with? If she had paid more attention to the actual details, she would have noticed HOW wrong her assumptions were. But, on second thought, she probably did notice. She was just one of those people that liked to hear what they wanted to hear and if it didn't fit in her 'box of thoughts' then she could just as well 'adjust' the information to it all. And so they ended stuck with this wannabe cop. If the police decided to trust that damn old lady they could have at least sent someone with more self-esteem to investigate, for example, like the cool looking cops you would see in movies. But this guy was definitely NOT that kind of cop. He was more like your plain every day passerby you would meet on the streets. He didn't even seem all that self-righteous, something you would normally expect from someone who devoted his life to serving their country. Was he even interested in serving his country or was it was your 'family business' type of thing? The latter seemed to be the case but who knew. Don't judge a book by it's cover, right?

Anyway, back to the main problem which would be...

What was it again?

Oh, yes, i remember.

Our all time lovable pair, Eustass Kid and Trafalgar Law, were currently walking back to their picnic spot. Without the policeman! When the hell did that happen? Easy. During the authors granny and cop rant, Kid had taken a swing at him. It only took a single punch from his well-shaped arm to knock the guy out cold. Of course, those two weren't stupid enough to leave him laying around just like **that**. It kinda looked like he had been shot to death. Wonder what the damn granny would think of that now! No worries! No more granny talk _for now_. Okey, so they pushed the cop up against the tree so it looked like he was napping, which he was (forcefully but, eh, whatever), and, by the looks of it, that could be a while.

Kid: ''Well, that was a complete was of our time.''

Law: ''Agreed. But, next time you decide to punch the guy out, mind doing it from the beginning?''

Kid: ''Gladly.''

Law: ''You think he'll wake up anytime soon?''

Kid: ''Doubt it. But, if he does, i got another round of nuckle-sandwiches to serve. Speaking of which, i'm starving. This whole crap made me hungry.''

Law: ''I have to admit, I wouldn't mind a proper meal myself.''

Kid: ''Hey, Trafalgar?''

Law: ''Yes?''

Kid: ''Where's our basket?''

* * *

**Cliffhanger!**

* * *

**Author's note!**

Yes, again! I suddenly can't decide how their basket ''mysteriously'' vanished so i need some time to ponder on that one.

Oh, no, wait, sudden brainstorming saved my mood but i will save that for the next chapter.


	4. (4) Running BASKETS

They had reached the spot where they left their stuff but... surprise, surprise... there was nothing there but the blanket left.

''You think a bear stole our basket?'' Said Kid thoughtfully all the while raising a non-existent eyebrow as he vaguely remembered something about Yogy bears and their love for picnic basket's.

Law, however, took it the wrong way. ''Don't insult Bepo in such a manner!'' He grumbled at Kid while pondering how to get back at him for that comment.

''Goddammit, Trafalgar, i said BE-AR, not BE-PO! Clean your goddamn ears out!'' Well, those two words were interlinked in a rather obvious manner. Still Kid felt the need to point out that he didn't mean Bepo in particular.

Law didn't seem completely convinced by that, but, at least, his eyes started scanning around the park in hopes of finding a lead to whom might the culprit be. It was then that he noticed a particularly interesting sight. ''I think i see something.''

''Yes, your sanity running away.'' Said Kid with a grunt.

Law was back to his usual indifferent self. ''Actually it seems to be a dog.''

''A dog?'' Kid looked at him in a strange way not fully grasping what Law had meant.

''Yes. Look. There. In the distance.'' Law gestured with his head in a certain direction.

Kid squinted his eyes trying to see what he meant. ''Are you pulling my leg here?''

''You're impossible.'' Law lifted his hand up and pointed a finger at a tree. ''You see that tree?''

''Yes.''

His finger now moved to a lower angle. ''You see that dog?''

''Yes.''

''You see that basket in the dog's mouth?'' The last question said with a ghost of a smile awaiting Kid's reaction.

''Y...'' And then realization hit Kid like a brick wall. ''GOD-FUCKING-DAMN DOG STOLE OUR FUCKING BASKET!''

Law sighted in contentment, but before Law managed to say anything else on the topic, Kid was already running like a mad-man after the dog. The said dog, of course, made a dash for it.

After what seemed like hours of running Kid finally managed to somehow corner him.

And now that the mutt was trapped like a rat, Kid took in the dog's physical appearance. Without a doubt _he_ was a stray. _'A worn-out look. No collar. Clearly visible ribs. Yet, definitely a stray.' _Upon advancing, the mutt growled menacingly, but Kid didn't seem the least bit swayed by it. He kept advancing until he was right in front of him and crouched down. ''What a troublesome dog you are making me run around this whole damn place. I looked like a complete idiot, you know.'' And suddenly Kid smiled. ''I could use someone as lively as you.'' He stretched out his hand. ''Come.'' Said in a commanding voice which quieted the low growls until the dog feel completely silent. For a long while they kept staring at each other. Then, putting down the basket, the dog went towards Kid, he smelled his arm. Seeing this Kid gently started scratching him at the side of his head and then behind his ear. Soon the dog was completely relaxed under Kid's warm touch.

From a distance, Law had seen the entire bonding unfold. He too had been running after the mutt, but not as enthusiastically as Kid had. His pace slowed down when he first noticed that the frantic running had stopped, so now he walked towards the pair at a leisure pace. Despite this pace, he reached Kid's position relatively fast. He walked up to Kid behind his back, still he was immediately noticed.

''Hey, Trafalgar, look, i got myself a pet.'' Kid said gleefully while petting the dog's head.

''Good for you, but do you think it's wise to take in a stray dog like that?'': was Law's answer as he did a once-over at the stray's pathetic appearance.

Kid snorted in response. ''What, you mean, you can keep an actual polar bear in our cellar but i can't even have a _normal_ dog?''

Law retorted. ''Bepo's still a cub. And there's something about the way this dog is looking at me that makes me doubt how _normal_ it is.''

Kid turned to his new found playmate. ''Don't listen to the mean ol' Law. He's just scared of you. That's all.''

''AM NOT!'' Yelled Law which in turn earned him a sudden growl from the dog.

''See, what happens when you yell.'' Said Kid matter of factly.

Law sighted. ''I'm usually the one explaining the consequences of yelling or at least _try to_ in your case.'' He lifted his head and looking at the already sinking sun. ''It's getting late. We should probably head back.''

Kid nodded in response not really caring what Law had said since he was too busy caressing the dogs head. Still he pulled his body up and started moving towards the same gate they had first come through. He quickly caught up to Law with the dog obediently fallowing at his side.

Law: ''If you don't mind me inquiring, what name are you going to give this dog?''

Kid: ''I think, i will name him 'Killer'.''

_'How original.' _Was what Law thought but, for once, he decided not to share his thoughts of the matter just to get this day over and done with.

Well, the dog, now named 'Killer', seemed content with it since he barked happily at hearing his master giving him a name which made Kid even happier. ''You like that, huh?'' Kid beamed as Killer nuzzled his nose against Kid's leg.

_'This is going to a pain.' _As Law thought that, they had already ventured past the gates and onto the streets of the city. Their day a the park was now officially over!

* * *

**Somewhere in the park..**_  
_

''Ugh.'' Came the voice of a certain policeman who just now started coming back to reality. He started arising from his sleeping spot when he came to a sudden halt and grabbed his growing headache with his hand evidently feeling a painful bump where his fingers lay over it. _'Huh, what happened? Where am i?'_ He groaned as he glanced at his surroundings. _'A park? What am doing in a park? Ehhhh?'_

* * *

**_The End!_**

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**A/N: **Sorry, it took so long with this last one, but the lack of reviews made my mood go down south, but i finaly managed to finish this last chapter.

Do leave reviews so i know if you enjouyed (OR NOT) this kinda story.**_  
_**


	5. (1) After the park

A/N: As requested by ''azab'' (i'm weak to people saying ''please'' and i always like to make someone happy), here's a continued version of ''A day at the park''. As mentioned in this chapter, the time setting is two weeks after the whole walk in the park story. This next little drabble story will be 2 chapters long, originally 1, but i am feeling too sleepy to write the second part for this, i will leave that for tomorrow.

I hope you enjoy this, azab! I hope the rest of you enjoy it too!

* * *

''Get this flee infested mutt out of my face or it's 'killer mutt sausage' for supper!'' Grumbled a very annoyed Trafalgar Law, who currently had a growling dog glaring him right in the face.

''Don't be such a grouch. He's just playing.'' Replyed a very amused Eustass Kid, who was far from surprised at his dogs behaviour. It's already been two weeks since Kid took him in, but both Killer and Trafalgar have yet to warm up to each other.

''This.. is... NOT playing! He is seriously considering to bite off my nose.''

''You're exagerating. Killer is well-mannered and loyal, yet you _still_ treat him like some stray.''

''How funny of you to say, 'cause it just happens to be the way i view this meatball.''

Both men were lounging around on a fluffy couch. Kid at the right, while Law - to the left. Before Killer decided to do his usual growling session at Law (and he does that often enough to drive poor Trafalgar crazy), the man with the spotty hat had been reading a heavy-ass book, which was **now** used as a shield to cower himself away from the besieged _wolf_, i mean, _dog_. He could be either. It was hard to tell. In the last two weeks Killer has shown both wolf_ish_ and dog_ish_ qualities. Dog_ish_ as in running after a stick, cuddling up, rolling and showing its tummy (this was done to the one he saw as his only master, Kid), and wolf_ish_ as in hunting, glaring, tracking, leering from different kinds of places and hiding spots (this was, of course, done to Law). Not only did he have to be alert almost 24/7, but he also seemed to be the only one who noticed both sides of this hellhound.

_'Kid is such an ass as of late. Ever since this disgusting flee-bag came into our home, it's been nothing but 'Killer this, Killer that'. Juck! I would be glad, if this mutt dissapeared. Then i could go back to the life i had before. Who could have ever thought that one dog could change_ **so much** in people's lives!?'

''KID!''

''Fine already! I will get him off.'' Kid stopped filing his nails, an activity he had been focused on while Trafalgar had to endure Killers weight and growling. ''Killer, come here boy. Come to papa.'' Killer instantly moved away from Trafalgar and into Kid's lap. He nuzled his nose lovingly into the pale man's chest making his owner scratch behind his ear.

''Is it just me or has this _thing_ gotten bigger AND heavier?!''

''It's muscle mass.''

''No, it's not! It's fat! I keep telling you that you're overfeading _it_.''

''And i keep telling to stop calling him _it_. Start using his name for once. He's family now.''

''I.. DO.. NOT consider **this** _thing_ family. I would rather choke on your stinkin' socks. Speaking of which, when are you **finally** going to wash them?''

Kid scrunched his nose up at his friend. ''What do you mean by 'finally'? It hasn't been **that long** since i last washed them.''

''Oh? If you are so confident, then tell me.. when was the last time?''

''I don't know?! Some _days_, maybe _months_?''

''Kid.. it's been two_ years_. In order to avoid poisoning the air around here, i had to hermetically close them off from the world in a separete room upstairs or haven't you noticed the ''Danger! Kid's socks!'' sign till now?''

''Emmm... No?''

''How could you not notice?''

''Shut up! You know i only ever go up there when i'm tired. Why would i notice?''

''You're impossible!''

''You know, you didn't have to go as far as locking my socks away.''

''Yes, i had to. The stench was starting to bend reality as a whole.''

''Ok, so _maybe_, they _might_ need some washing.''

''It's not a _maybe_! It's not a _might_! It's a **must**!''

''You are such a drama queen.''

''I will overlook this comment in order to get faster to my next question.''

''Which is?''

''Whose socks have you been wearing this whole time?''

''Yours!''

"KID!''

''Relax! I'm joking! I went on with life without wearing any. Simple as that. I also heard that going around bare-foot is healthy.''

''It's said to be healthy, when you move around bare-foot over a cold surface on evenings for 15 minutes. It's not meant to be done non-stop.''

''Oh!''

''Aside that, could it be that you actually forgot you had socks to wash?''

''Aaaha!''

Law sweatdropped. _'Whatever made me move in with this guy?'_

(Kid) ''But now that you reminded me of them. I want my socks back! Unlock them from that room.''

(Law) ''I am not going anywhere near that room! Not even Killer goes near that room! Doesn't that say anything to you?''

''Fine! Fine! You win! My socks need some serious washing! Happy now?''

''I will, when you finally wash them! I will give you the keys for the locks. Just do something about those little nightmare hell-socks of yours.''

''Keys? 'As in more than one key' keys? Just how many locks did you put there?''

''36.''

''That's one too many locks! Can't i do it tomorrow?''

''No! Tomorrow might be too late. We might wake up in a paralel universe where we are both pirate captains of separete crews trying to find a mysterious treasure called One Piece. In other words, reality as we know it could be bent and lost for all eternity. And all of it because of your _stupid socks_.''

''You should really take a break from reading. I think, you are loosing more than just a few _screws_ from your head.''

''Why youuuuuu..''

_Crash_

(Law) ''What now?''

(Kid) ''I think, it came from the basement.''

(Law) ''Oh, no! BEPO?''

They both got up and ran for the basement. Well, Law ran. Kid.. he.. well.. he was not in such a rush like Law was.

''I swear, it it's that goddamn mutt of yours eating or even tasting my Bepo, then i'm trowing him out whether you like it or not.'' Yelled Law already descending the stairs to the basement.

''You are sure quick to jump to conclusions. Till now Killer has never so musch as touched your bear.'' Half yelled/half talked Kid following the first at a steady pace.

And he was right. Weirdly enough the two have a very neitral relationship. Killer doesn't bother Bepo, and vice versa. Once, Law even noticed how Killer brought Bepo a snack when Bepo was feeling moody for some unknown reason. This fact did not make Law like the dog, but it did stop him from secretly getting rid of the dog. On that particular day, he had decided that as long as Killer didn't harm Bepo then he would not drug, stash him in the car, drive far, far away and trow him in the river or leave him in the dessert, despite thinking and wanting to do it. But, if something has happened to Bepo and Killer is the one to blame, then that vow would no longer be valid.

* * *

A/N: Review! Please review! I love reviews! I crave reviews! I absolutely NEED them!


	6. (2) Half-dead

**''Socks and dogs''. Ch.2**

* * *

They went down to the basement and what they saw shocked the both of them.

* * *

_Currently.._

(Kid) ''Well, this is awkward.''

(Law) ''Awkward doesn't begin to describe this situation, Mister I-let-others-bears-get-killed-and-don't-give-a-flying-duck!''

''Killing is** never** my intention!''

''That's an obvious lie!''

''Ok, so it's not like it's **never** my intention, but, this time, i swear, i'm as surprised as you are.''

''Then why don't i see any remorse?''

''Why would i feel remorse?''

''YOU HALF-KILLED MY BEAR WITH YOUR POISONOUS SOCKS!''

A ventilation shaft was located high above and just under the ceiling. And, right now, you could see how a purplish substance in the form of gas was seeping out of it in waves.

(Kid) ''Well, it's not like i could predict that the stench of my socks would eventually burn through the defenses you put up, somehow find it's way to the ventilation shaft and half-kill your bear.''

Law looked down at his sick polar cub. ''My poor little Bepo..''

(Kid) ''This situation isn't **that** bad! He's still breathing.. a little.. i think.''

Law yelled out. ''No, this is **worse**! The poisoned stench from your socks has already penetrated his lungs and is affecting his whole body destructively as we speak.''

''You know, you have been a moody bitch all day, Trafalgar. Are you on your period?''

''I'M A MAN! I DON'T GET PERIODS!''

''Aaaah, but you get annoyed at my _every_ word.''

''I get annoyed at you _every_ day for _every_ month on _every_ year!''

''That's quite a long period you have!''

''WOMEN DON'T GET PERIODS FOR THAT LONG!''

''Then, that makes you a special case. You have my condolences!''

''I'M TELLING YOU, I DON'T GET PERIODS! AND I'M A MAN!''

''Anyway, shouldn't you start saving your bear anytime soon?''

''That's right and, while i'm on it, i will leave you to scrub the very life out of those evil socks.''

''Again with that? I'm sure it won't kill us or a few more days.''

''Kid, you lazy bum, what do i have to do to get you moving?''

(Kid) ''Where is Killer, anyway?''

(Law) ''Maybe, he got scared and ran away?''

(Kid) ''Hump. That would be the nature of your _gutless_ bear. My dog would never...'' A whimper erupted from a far corner in the basement. Both men went to inspect the corner only to find a hunched up dog shaking from what looked to be fear.''

_Silence_...

Law slightly turned his head towards Kid. ''Do i even need to comment on this?''

''I will go wash those socks _now_!''

''And i will bring Bepo to be medically treated.''

* * *

A/N: Too bad Kid isn't the only lazy bum around. This little story has a continuation that still needs work to make it somewhat enjoyable. Oh, and it finally came to me, at the beginning of each chapter the story's title is required, so that chapters wouldn't get mixed up in other story's. As you noticed, this chapter falls under the story tittle name of ''Socks and dogs''.


	7. (3) Phone call

**''Socks and dogs''.** Ch.3.

* * *

Law has left the house and is walking down a road with Bepo held tightly against his chest. Before leaving he wrapped him in a blanket to avoid unnecessary stares and questions from policemen. After all, a bear in a city? Not exactly legal! Though in this case, he did have all the required documents for keeping him, but in the midst of everything he didn't want to waste even more time looking for them. So he doesn't have them on person!

''Though i'm far from happy with what has happened with Bepo, it feels reassuring to see someone else suffering.'' This being said to Killer, who was following in tow for _currently_ unknown reasons.

''The clear signs of intoxication on your nose are very appealing to me, but i doubt it's enough to make you so delusional as to follow ME around. So why is that you are here?''

_Grumble. Grumble. Grunt. Grumble._

''I will take that as 'I didn't want to be around those socks, when they are taken out of that room and still in the process of washing'.''

_Grunt._

''Fine. You can follow me for the time being.''

* * *

After several blocks and a lot of walking, they finally managed to find a veterinarian that not only accepted Bepo as a patient, but actually knew what he was doing... or so he wanted to believe.

The vet took him immediately in for _de_toxification.

Meanwhile, Law waited outside in the waiting room.

Killer, who also required a similar procedure was treated by the only nurse in the clinic, who left to god-knows-where after that.

Right now, Killer is waiting alongside Law.

Law spoke up. ''You know, i just realized that i could have gotten a cab. Why the hell did i even go all this way?''

Killers response was a simple _grunt_, _grunt_, _grumble_.

Law sighed. ''You are right. Walking is **that** much more healthier. If only you could always be so calm and non-barking, then, perhaps, i wouldn't dislike you as much.''

Killer looked up at him surprised.

The man and dog conversation was interrupted by the vet coming out of the _'dark room'_ as he called it. ''I_ think_, i managed..''

''You think?'' Law asked with a twich in his eye.

''I'm **sure**, i managed..''

''What, now your are sure?''

The vet cleared his throat. _'This ones going to be a hard one. The human, i mean.'_

''Yes, i positive, that i managed to treat your polar cub, but he will need to rest for the night, here, in this clinic. I attached him to a system. I will take it out tomorrow morning and then you can bring him back home. I promise to get him back on his feet by then.'' Said the vet and to brighten up the air (which was starting to smother him), he added. ''But, mannnnn, was he intoxicated! What happened to him?''

''That's a long 'and you are better off not knowing kind of' story.''

''Aa.. haa?.. Ok, then.''

''Would you mind, if i spend the night here?''

''I don't think that's a good idea.''

''I insist.''

''I still don't think that's a very good idea.''

''I 'will cut your throat and hang your guts on the wall, if you don't agree' insist!''

''Ok, then. _If you insist_. Make yourself at home!''

''Thank you for your understanding.''

''Well, i do want to live a day longer.''

''Don't we all?!''

The vet laughed half-heartedly while Law only smiled his trade mark smirk.

The vet easyed his mind with the thought that, at least this conversation was over. Or so it seemed. To his utter horror Law continued.

''Though, i hope you realize, that, if you haven't treated him back to full health by tomorrow morning like you promised, a day will the longest you can live.''

''... I think i will go check up on that bear.'' And so he high-tailed it out of the waiting room and deeper into his clinic, where all the animals are kept.

Law smirked, feeling very content with the vets reaction.

Just when Law was starting to think that he needed to find new ways to amuse himself (the vet would apparently avoid him till this was over), his phone suddenly started ringing.

* * *

Phone call...

''Hello, there, Eustass-ya. Did you need anything?''

''Emmm..? How's you bear?''

''Being treated. I seriously hope he can still be saved, but, if, per chance, he doesn't make it through, i'm blaming you.''

''What? Why me? How is this **my** fault?''

''It's was your lack of parenting for those poor socks that brought this upon us, and NOW my Bepo has to bear the consequences.''

''Parenting? How is that considered parenting? Those are just SOCKS! I just wore then till they got all dirty and smelly and then na da.''

''Exactly! You used them and then left without saying something. You are a horrible person!''

''Are we _really_ talking about my socks? Or are you still mad about that one time when Bepo first arrived and i _accidentally_ threw him in the dish washer and _accidentally_ forgot him there?''

''Never.. mention.. that.. again. And why are you even calling?''

''Oh, yeah, i forgot.''

''Forgetting seems to be quite the hobby for you.''

''Now i remember.''

''_Really? _What an unexpected surprise.''

''How do you **wash** socks?''

''Put them in the washing machine. Add a bit of washing powder. I repeat.. A.. **BIT**.. OF.. WASHING.. **POWDER**.. **FOR** **CLOTHES**.. By _bit_ i meant a few eating spoons AT MOST. And by _washing powder_ i mean the bottle that has a 'Washing powder' label on it with a picture of clothes under it. It's not the powder you like to smoke with your biker friends on a Friday night.''

''I KNOW THAT! How stupid do you think i am?''

''On a scale from 1 to 10?.. 10'000'000!''

''That's a lot of zeros!''

''Just shows how much of an idiot you are!''

''Hey! You can't insult me!''

''I just did!''

''You fur-loving bastard!''

''I forgot to mention. The vet said that Bepo will have to stay the night here, so i'm staying with him.''

''..Got it.''

''..But don't think you can slack off till then.''

''I won't. You don't trust me at all, do you?''

''You are too much of an idiot to trust. Oh, and by the time i get back i want those socks smelling like dandelions on sunny summer day. Think you can manage THAT?''

''Yeah, yeah.''

''You better.''

''And, if i don't? What then? You planning on strangling me with those skinny legs of yours?''

''No. I will put your pictures from last Christmas on Facebook.''

''YOU TOLD ME YOU ERASED THEM!''

''I did.. from the camera. Before that i uploaded them on my flash-drive. Oh so sorry, did i forget to mention that?''

''YES.''

''In any case, as long as you wash those socks PROPERLY and pay for the treatment expenses, _we_, i mean _you_, won't have any problems.''

''Wait a sec there, fur-lover! What treatment expenses?''

''For Bepo's medical care, of course. You have such a short memory span, Mister Eustass, just like a goldfish. I'm surprised you actually manage to do **anything**!''

''I AM NOT A GOLDFISH!''

''Maybe, your body isn't, but your brains definitely ARE.''

''ARE NOT.''

''Are too.''

''ARE NOT!''

''Are **too**.''

''FUCK YOU!''

''Keep dreaming!''

''I DO NOT DREAM SUCH VIAL THINGS!''

''You sure about that?''

''What?''

''I heard you moaning quite a bit last night.''

''THAT WAS KILLER HAVING A STOMACHACHE!''

''Sure didn't sound like it.''

''I'M NOT LYING! IT WAS YOUR COOKING THAT DID THAT TO HIM!''

''There is nothing wrong with my cooking, Eustass-ya. Wait! You gave my cooking to that dog? How dare you? I forbid you from doing that!''

''Well, if i had known it would give him stomach cramps, i wouldn't have given it to him!''

(Law) ''This phone call is over!''

(Kid) ''FINE!''

* * *

_Beep. Beep. Beep._ Was the only sound heard on **Law**'s end. Killer had fallen asleep long before the phone call started, so he didn't make any comentary on it.

As for **Kid**'s side.. He didn't hear the beeping sound from his phone, since he was too busy listening around the room, for the socks were coming to get him. Survival game. START!


	8. (4) Death

**''Socks and dogs'' Chapter 4 (last ch.)**

* * *

**Law's side**

Law was coming back from the vet with Bepo softly cuddling into his chest and Killer in tow.

Wanting to get back sooner, he decided to take a shortcut through an allayway and, as per usual, almost all allayways come with at least one brainless moron in bonus.

''What's ya holdin' there, buddy?''

''I don't recall myself being a dog for you to call me _buddy_.''

''Oh, don't be so cold. I just wanna see what ya got there. Or you could just caugh up some cash and we call it a done deal, huh?''

Going past, completely ignoring him, Law continued his way back to his house.

Just as the guy was reaching to grab him, Law kicked the guys shin with the heel of his shoe knocking the other on his butt without so much as batting an eyelash.

Then... Law kept up his pace... and walked. Yes, still.

The imp was confused, but got up relatively fast. ''YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT, BUDDY!''

''I already told you my names not _Buddy_, but, if you're so much into dogs, then i suggest you turn your attention elsewhere, like, the bloodlusty scrub behind you.''

''Wha?''

Somehow, and that's his own fault, the brainless moron had passed up on noticing Killer's presence the whole time, and OH DID HE PAY FOR THAT!

Killer attacked, beating (a.k.a. bitng) him down size in no time at all.

That guy was never to be heard of again! Positive thinking: probably moved to a different city! So, yeah, let's juts ignore the tricles of blood that seeped along the shadows off the allayway. It's not imporatant. Probably ketchup! And so was it ketchup that drip dropped from Killer's mouth once he reasumed following Law in tow.

''I guess, you are good for something after all. I'm surprised! Maybe, i should have you intoxicated with something wierd more often.''

_Grunt. Grunt._

''No, i don't know, if that could become one of my newest hobbies!''

* * *

**Kid's side**

Saying Kid was running for his life would be an understatement. He was totally at the brink of screaming like a little girl. As it turns out, socks also know how to crawl, growl and bite. And they are good at it too.

Oh, and also out for revenge on Kid for leaving them for so long.

_Fats forward._ (yes, cause i'm lazy like that, but, if you feel better about it, let's just say the happenings on that night are too gruesome to be depicted in this so not gruesome and non-volatile story!)

So... um... yeah... Kid had had spent the whole night running and fighting them off. The red-heads only consolation that night was the sheer knowing that Law wasn't there to see it, otherwise, he would never live it down for the rest of his life.

It was only at the un-godly hour of 4 in the f*****g morning that Kid finally COLLECTED THEM ALL. Yei for brute strength! Although, for a few times, Kid had almost been done in, but, as we all know, _almost doesn't count_.

Currently, the poor fella is watching as the socks are snapping at him from behind the washing machine's glass. A tremor passed right through him. A bit more and his nightmare would finally be over.

Hopefully! (Yeah, right. - sarcasm)

Let's do a count down, shall we? A count down till Law and the rest get back!

Start! (we are starting from 4 in the morning)

5 hours left: Socks are shaking the washing machine. Kid's holding them down.

4 hours: The socks broke out. Kid's running for his life again!

3 hours: Socks entered his windpipe. Kid almost dies of suffocation!

2 hours: The socks are screaming out in agony. Kid's dosing them with everything that has ''wash'' in it's name or purpose ranging from soap to wodka.

1 hour: The socks stopped moving. Kid's happy!

30 minutes: The socks are hanging out to dry. Kid's making sure they are dead for real, real, not for play, play!

15 minutes: They are really dead. Kid's walking back into the house.

10 minutes: Kid takes in the condition of the house. It's a disaster!

5 minutes: Kid sighs and plops down on the coutch. ''I hate washing laundry!''

1 minute: Kid's out cold!

3... 2... 1...

''WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE!?''

* * *

**Later that day (it's evening)...**

(Law) ''Now was it that bad?''

(Kid) ''Yes.''

(Law) ''You're hopeless!''

(Kid) ''Can we, _please_, stop this topic?''

(Law) ''How rare of you to say _please_! But, fine. Instead, i can ammuse you by telling the saga of 'how that flee bag was actually useful'!''

(Kid) ''You mean Killer?''

(Law) ''Yes.''

(Kid) ''Ok, let's hear it.''

(Law) ''Once upon a day, there was a mutt who turned out to be useful. The end!''

(Kid) ''And that's it?''

(Law) ''What else did you expect?''

(Kid) ''I really feel like hitting you now, Trafalgar!''

Kid was ignored. Law opted for dozing to his own thoughts for a bit. ''But i still wonder... what made him suddenly warm up to me.''

(Kid) ''It's probably just a faze.''

(Law) ''**That** would be a logical assumption. That reminds me, here are the checks for Bepo's medical fees.''

''Che. I was hoping you forgot.''

Law handed him the checks. Kid looked at them and yelled out in shock. ''ARE YOU SERIOUS?''

''Stop your wining and pay up. Medicine isn't exactly cheap, you know!''

Kid peered at the checks hoping they would disintegrate before he noticed a particulary interesting check. ''Hey! what's this for? It looks different from the others. It's got 'dog' written next to it.''

''Where?''

''Here.'' Kid pointed to a number below.

''Oh, yeah, that's for Killer's detoxication. I wasn't thinking and unknowingly paid for him too.''

''SO THAT'S WHY he suddenly turned nice. You **were** the one, who was nice to him **first**.''

''Even, though, it wasn't my intention.''

''I guess, _that_ particular fact didn't bother him.''

Killer came in the room with a rat in his mouth.

Kid looked at him happily. ''Come, here. Come, here, boy.''

At first it seemed he was going towards Kid, but then he turned and sat himself before Law, placing the rat in his lap.

(Law) ''Oh, this is just...''

Kid looked at him with jelousy in his eyes. ''Don't get so full of yourself. You paying for his medical fees doesn't mean you can take him away from me.''

Looking at the rat in his lap, ''I can assure you, that i don't plan on on that anytime soon... or **ever** for that matter.''

* * *

**A/n:** Remember, kids, wash your socks! Get them before they get you! And don't forget to review! I know i'm a lazy-ass and took forever to finish this, but, i promise, all this time i wasn't up for anythign _sassy_, and, when i'm not in the mood, i can't write anyhting properly _nice_.


End file.
